I wrote the following while I was in a period of searching--for full-time employment; fullfilling, meaningful work and ministry; for my sense of self. Being underemployed took it's toll on me physically, spiritually and mentally.
I plan to write and publish an article on self-care for those looking for work or changing directions. (So please do not steal these lists or send them to your friends in an email--I trust you!)
I invite your feedback, especially if you have had similar experiences looking for work or searching for self. Please share your stories. And let me know if I can quote you in the article!
Blessings,
Arlene
50 Things to do while you are looking for work
By Arlene M Franks
All Rights Reservced
1) Pray, meditate or do something that will help you take care of your spirit. When we are struggling, we can feel insignificant and small. We must remind ourselves that we are supported by something larger than ourselves.
2) Find or develop a community—church, support group, book group, bible study. It’s important not to isolate yourself.
3) Write to friends/family—especially those you’ve been out of touch with for awhile. (But pay close attention to step 4!)
4) Surround yourself with people who support you—avoid negative people.
5) Visit museums and galleries for inspiration.
6) Go to the library—pick a subject and explore new territory for your mind.
7) Volunteer at local agencies. Your main job is getting a job, but you need some time to focus on something else, and volunteering is a great way to refocus and rejuvenate.
8) Meet friends for coffee—it’s cheaper than a meal, and they may even pay!
9) Write letters to the editor about local issues that are important to you. Again, it helps to refocus sometimes.
10) Write letters to your representatives about an important state or national issue.
11) Rearrange your home—move the furniture around, put the TV in a different spot, use the linens in the back of the closet and change the color scheme in the bedroom and bath.,
12) Organize your stuff—throw and/or give things away that you don’t need anymore. You might find some things you forgot you had.
13) Make art projects out of scraps at home.
14) Look for short-term projects that pay. Your local government, schools, library, place of worship, a local business, may be looking for someone to do a task that will help them complete an important project, but that regular staff don’t have time to do. Ask around, these positions are usually filled by word of mouth.
15) Learn to barter—baby-sit for help on your resume; type a thesis for babysitting services, etc.
16) Attend free concerts and lectures—stimulate your mind and spirit!
17) Use public transportation—not only do you meet a lot of interesting people, but you can feel a sense of accomplishment in navigating the system.
18) Read—check out all those books you’ve purchased over the years but never read.
19) Take care of your physical needs. Your being sick doesn’t serve anyone, and besides, you can’t afford it!
20) Walk
21) Play
22) Sleep
23) Laugh
24) Cry
25) Breathe—we forget the small stuff when we are concentrating on the big tasks.
26) Drink water—it’s brain fuel.
27) Stay connected—did I mention, you shouldn’t isolate yourself? Keep up your involvement in community, neighborhood, church, and family activities as much as possible.
28) Journal or blog about your experiences, your life, your expectations and goals. It’s a great way to release a lot of the anxieties, frustrations and confusion about what is happening in your life.
29) Tell your story to others—most people are willing to listen and many will be able to help in some way.
30) Listen to other people’s stories—you will be amazed at how many others are going through similar difficulties.
31) Ask for help—there is no shame in it, and most folks want to do something but don’t know how best to help.
32) Help someone else—it takes your mind off your own troubles, at least for a moment.
33) Maintain as ‘normal’ a schedule as possible. It will help keep up your resolve and your energy.
34) Utilize the Internet—if you don’t have access at home, most libraries have computers available to the public.
35) Listen to music, for obvious reasons.
36) Watch a sad movie—it can be cathartic
37) Watch a happy movie, even a silly one—it can lift your spirits.
38) Increase your vocabulary or learn words in another language. Another thing to do while you are at the library.
39) Make up bumper sticker slogans—it’s distracting and there are companies that will actually pay you for slogans they can use.
40) Write greeting cards—same as above. Check out the Writer’s Digest, either from the library or online for lists of companies that accept submissions.
41) Learn a new skill—increase your keyboarding skills or teach yourself to crochet.
42) Take your ‘work’ outside your home—the presence of other people, sounds, smells, sights, can be stimulating and help you keep from isolating.
43) Count your blessings—we tend to forget the good things in our lives when we are in a slump.
44) Take one moment at a time. Planning and goal-setting are good, but when plans go awry, we need to keep moving toward the goal.
45) List your accomplishments—we tend to forget them when we are not doing our life’s work.
46) List your strengths—you can draw on them to keep moving forward.
47) List your weaknesses—only because we tend to dwell on them when we have a setback like unemployment. List them and then either put them away and out of mind or take the next step listed…
48) Find ways to change your weaknesses into strengths. So you think you seem too eager when you interview? Change that to enthusiasm and make it a part of the interview, as in, “I am so excited to have this opportunity!”
49) Do your most important work when your energy level is highest. If you’re not a morning person, for instance, don’t force yourself to get up early to fill out applications and set up interviews. It is counterproductive to present yourself to the hiring world when you are not at your best.
50) Keep moving—don’t give up.
12 Things friends can do to help
By Arlene M Franks
All Rights Reservced
1) Pray for me.
2) Pray with me.
3) Share your stories of struggle—you may be an inspiration.
4) Check in on me by phone and email—I may not always reach out when I need help.
5) Tell me how I can help you—I need to feel useful and connected.
6) Invite me to lunch or coffee—and let me pay my half if I offer.
7) Invite me to go places that are free of charge—I need to get out of the house.
8) Make me laugh.
9) Allow me to cry.
10) Help me acknowledge and use my gifts—I need to believe I am strong, capable and competent.
11) Remind me of my accomplishments—I tend to forget about them.
12) Help me stay involved in the things that are important to me. I need to see that I can still have a positive impact on my community, neighborhood, church, and family.
An Unblinding Light
Oprah is smiling at me from the magazine rack across the waiting room at Barnes Retina Institute in St. Louis.* With her arms flung wide, her body slightly bent at the waist, she looks ready to laugh with her whole body. I stare at her for awhile, wanting to be in on the joke. When she becomes blurry, I will know that the eye drops the technician put in several minutes ago have taken effect.
Maybe if they dilate soon, we can get this over with quickly. It’s my sixth surgery to correct diabetic retinopathy, but I am not used to this procedure. I can’t shake the anxiety of waiting. I close my eyes to help speed the process of opening my pupils wide so the doctor can shine his bright light into them and cauterize the swollen, leaking blood vessels behind the retina and prevent any potential vision loss.
“I’ve had about 67 of these surgeries,” an older man’s voice invades my thoughts. Sitting behind me, he tells his friend about his struggles with diabetes. “I just can’t get it under control,” he says.
I try to remember when was the last time I monitored my blood sugar…and did I remember to take my medicine today? What about that donut I had last night? “I’m killing myself from the inside,” I chide myself. “God, don’t let me go blind,” I almost whisper. I shift in my seat, check my watch and survey the overflowing waiting room. It’s going to be a long afternoon.
The waiting room is nearly empty when my name is finally called. I follow another technician to a smaller room with a lot of strange equipment that has begun to at least look familiar. The doctor greets me kindly, if not warmly. His name is Dr. Blinder. Even in my anxiety, I always want to tease him in a voice reserved for close friends, “so, Dr. Blinder, anybody give you a hard time about your name?”
But he doesn’t invite such familiarity. Soft-spoken and reserved, he looks like he takes his job way too seriously. Today, though, I’m glad he does, so I decide again not to broach the subject.
More eye drops go in, these to numb my eyes. The doctor adjusts the chin rest so that if I lean forward a bit, I can rest my head in front of his machine almost comfortably. The technician fastens a cloth band around the back of my head, “just to remind you to keep your chin down during the procedure,” she says.
During a series of equipment adjustments and murmured communication between doctor and assistant, my heart begins to beat faster…almost imperceptibly at first. “Breathe,” I tell myself as the doctor puts a sort of monocle in my left eye to keep it open. “Don’t forget to breathe.”
It’s a brief warning before the flashes of light begin The intense white light seems to bore through my pupil and into my body. My toes curl and lift my heels off the ground. My fingers clench around the armrests. I concentrate on my breathing again to suppress the scream welling up in my chest.
“Just breathe,” I urge myself as the laser flashes over and over. “In…out; again, in…out.”
“Try to keep your right eye open,” he says gently. But it is almost impossible, as it tightens defensively against the tortuous light. Twice before, my opposite eye squeezed so tightly, the monocle popped out.
It seems like an eternity, but it couldn’t be more than fifteen minutes before the doctor turns off the light, moves his machine back and says, “OK, all done. You did great.”
Unstrapped from the chin rest, I look around the room. Everything is bathed in red. I know it will go away, but it always startles me. I nod as the doctor tells me to “take it easy” for the rest of the day. We exchange pleasantries.
Walking back into the empty waiting room, I fish around in my bag for the sunglasses I am almost positive I dropped in there this morning. I’m going to need them. It is so bright in here.
*NOTE: Since writing this in 2002, I have had several more surgeries in both eyes. I have some permanent vision loss in my right eye, and I have trouble seeing clearly with both eyes. My diabetes continues to be a struggle, and I now take insulin to control it.
Maybe if they dilate soon, we can get this over with quickly. It’s my sixth surgery to correct diabetic retinopathy, but I am not used to this procedure. I can’t shake the anxiety of waiting. I close my eyes to help speed the process of opening my pupils wide so the doctor can shine his bright light into them and cauterize the swollen, leaking blood vessels behind the retina and prevent any potential vision loss.
“I’ve had about 67 of these surgeries,” an older man’s voice invades my thoughts. Sitting behind me, he tells his friend about his struggles with diabetes. “I just can’t get it under control,” he says.
I try to remember when was the last time I monitored my blood sugar…and did I remember to take my medicine today? What about that donut I had last night? “I’m killing myself from the inside,” I chide myself. “God, don’t let me go blind,” I almost whisper. I shift in my seat, check my watch and survey the overflowing waiting room. It’s going to be a long afternoon.
The waiting room is nearly empty when my name is finally called. I follow another technician to a smaller room with a lot of strange equipment that has begun to at least look familiar. The doctor greets me kindly, if not warmly. His name is Dr. Blinder. Even in my anxiety, I always want to tease him in a voice reserved for close friends, “so, Dr. Blinder, anybody give you a hard time about your name?”
But he doesn’t invite such familiarity. Soft-spoken and reserved, he looks like he takes his job way too seriously. Today, though, I’m glad he does, so I decide again not to broach the subject.
More eye drops go in, these to numb my eyes. The doctor adjusts the chin rest so that if I lean forward a bit, I can rest my head in front of his machine almost comfortably. The technician fastens a cloth band around the back of my head, “just to remind you to keep your chin down during the procedure,” she says.
During a series of equipment adjustments and murmured communication between doctor and assistant, my heart begins to beat faster…almost imperceptibly at first. “Breathe,” I tell myself as the doctor puts a sort of monocle in my left eye to keep it open. “Don’t forget to breathe.”
It’s a brief warning before the flashes of light begin The intense white light seems to bore through my pupil and into my body. My toes curl and lift my heels off the ground. My fingers clench around the armrests. I concentrate on my breathing again to suppress the scream welling up in my chest.
“Just breathe,” I urge myself as the laser flashes over and over. “In…out; again, in…out.”
“Try to keep your right eye open,” he says gently. But it is almost impossible, as it tightens defensively against the tortuous light. Twice before, my opposite eye squeezed so tightly, the monocle popped out.
It seems like an eternity, but it couldn’t be more than fifteen minutes before the doctor turns off the light, moves his machine back and says, “OK, all done. You did great.”
Unstrapped from the chin rest, I look around the room. Everything is bathed in red. I know it will go away, but it always startles me. I nod as the doctor tells me to “take it easy” for the rest of the day. We exchange pleasantries.
Walking back into the empty waiting room, I fish around in my bag for the sunglasses I am almost positive I dropped in there this morning. I’m going to need them. It is so bright in here.
*NOTE: Since writing this in 2002, I have had several more surgeries in both eyes. I have some permanent vision loss in my right eye, and I have trouble seeing clearly with both eyes. My diabetes continues to be a struggle, and I now take insulin to control it.
I am Grape!
| You Are Grape |
 You are bold and a true individual. You are very different and very okay with that. People know you as a straight shooter. You're very honest, even when the truth hurts. You are also very grounded and practical. No one is going to sneak anything by you. People enjoy your fresh approach to life. And it's this honesty that makes you a very innovative person. |
If its Good News, Why Aren't You Smiling?
I love Eddie Izzard. I just happened upon him as a stand up comedian a few years ago when I was flipping channels. This routine was the one I saw. I laughed hysterically.
I especially like this piece, though, because it talks about religion, specifically Christianity, even more specifically, the Protestant Church and how we tend to belie the joy of the Gospel with our spirit-less voices.
I realized recently that Eddie is now an actor and plays the husband in "The Riches" on FX. That is a great show--a little too complex for me on long, exhausting days when my brain is not working, but really well written and acted.
It's about a fmaily of "travellers" who get caught up in a web of lies when they impersonate a wealthy family in the burbs. Minnie Driver plays his wife, and they have three children. The youngest, a boy, is a cross-dresser. It's just part of his character, and doesn't show up as a major part of the plot. I like that.
Anyway, enjoy this unique take on Christianity...and if it offends you, lighten up!
Blessings,
Arlene
Deliver us, oh please
Susan Werner--The Gospel Truth
You must listen to this woman's songs. Go to the "Our Father" first. I think it's brillient and wish I had written it.
More later...
Blessings,
Arlene
You must listen to this woman's songs. Go to the "Our Father" first. I think it's brillient and wish I had written it.
More later...
Blessings,
Arlene
I know someone famous and funny
I just discovered comedy writer/performer/cartoonist Dan McCoy's blog. He was one of 'my youths' in the 90's when I was Christian Youth Fellowship sponsor at Eureka (Illinois) Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). His dad was my religion professor at Eureka College, and I know his whole family. In fact, I think I even babysat him when I was in college. He was quite self-sufficient. We called him Daniel then.
When he was in high school, he began drawing and writing a comic strip for the school paper, which was published in the town paper where I was editor. Seeing how good he was, I shamelessly stole him from the high school crowd and gave him his first professional gig as an artist. We published his comic strips on the editorial page, and I think we paid him $10 per week(?) Maybe $5. Hell I wasn't making much more than that myself!
As I was moving here recently, I went through boxes of stuff I had carted around from place to place since I left Eureka in 1997 (before that, really.) I threw away far more than I kept...I even tossed out old letters and cards. But when I got to a stack of original Dan McCoys...well, I couldn't part with them.
I wonder how much they are worth now that he's famous? Maybe I should wait until he makes it on Saturday Night Live. ..not that I'd sell them, of course.
I am sure Dan would rather speak for himself than have me reminisce about him and his fellow CYFers. So go look at his blog. And check out some of his more recent comic strips.
And this parody of On Star commercials.
Blessings,
Arlene
When he was in high school, he began drawing and writing a comic strip for the school paper, which was published in the town paper where I was editor. Seeing how good he was, I shamelessly stole him from the high school crowd and gave him his first professional gig as an artist. We published his comic strips on the editorial page, and I think we paid him $10 per week(?) Maybe $5. Hell I wasn't making much more than that myself!
As I was moving here recently, I went through boxes of stuff I had carted around from place to place since I left Eureka in 1997 (before that, really.) I threw away far more than I kept...I even tossed out old letters and cards. But when I got to a stack of original Dan McCoys...well, I couldn't part with them.
I wonder how much they are worth now that he's famous? Maybe I should wait until he makes it on Saturday Night Live. ..not that I'd sell them, of course.
I am sure Dan would rather speak for himself than have me reminisce about him and his fellow CYFers. So go look at his blog. And check out some of his more recent comic strips.
And this parody of On Star commercials.
Blessings,
Arlene
Ross and Perez
I fell in love with Ross Mathews (Ross the Intern) during "Celebrity Fit Club," one of my guilty pleasures. He is so genuine. I usually don't like perky, but it works for him. He was the only one on fit club who was still talking to Dustin Diamond by the end. He stuck it out far longer than I would have!
The combination of him and Perez Hilton is almost too much to bear, but they are so cute together. It's refreshing to see people willing to be themselves.
Blessings,
Arlene
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